A Look at 2017
This past year has been a mostly silent one. After we left a church back in 2015, my words, my good words, anyway, dried up. I have been looking for them ever since.
Some years are growing years. Other years are waiting years. 2017 was both.
The word that I tried to live by, Dreamers, never seemed to play into anything. My husband and I would dream…and then fall. Dream…and then fail. Nothing worked. But as we entered into Advent, for once, I didn’t feel like I had to manufacture some sort of hope. With nothing left to give, I had to wait on God to move.
And boy, did He ever! The very last week of the year marked the beginning of something different for us. While we had been living as victims, fearful of everyone else’s actions, now we are conquering those fears. While we had lived as though everyone was out to get us, now we are confident in our place on this earth.
What could cause such a drastic difference? Naming our enemy.
For us, it was narcissism, that deadly pride in others that we had accepted and placated for years. But in a year marked by victims naming others, we named the source of our own identity crises and turned a corner.
I am careful not to make it seem as though we have conquered this enemy once and for all because we are just now beginning our journey towards true healing. While it feels momentous and huge, it’s just the beginning of the beginning.
Looking Ahead to 2018
And yet it feels so freeing and wonderful that I can’t stop praising God about it!
And so this new year dawns with a new word: Light. I cannot get over how perfect this word is right now!
Light: The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
Light: Throwing aside every hindrance and traveling light.
Light: Nothing that is hidden will not be brought into the light.
I feel light! I feel free! And the chains that had once bound my tongue are now gone! My words are back!! For a writer, this is perhaps the greatest gift! To know that my words are here again, that I do have things to say, that my mind and my heart are once again filled with thoughts to share with others…I just can’t get over it! God is so, so good!