Of all of the many things I could blame for not loving my life, I think the number one thing is pretty easy to spot. I’ve spent a lot of time building up walls over the years, walls so thick that not even my kids can break through them. Walls that desperately need to come down if I’m going to live a life that truly values connections with others. They need prayer to knock them down.
But these walls are my cozy, safe place. I’ve spent years cultivating my own life within them. I know this space, these walls, this life. What I don’t know is what separates me from the rest of the world. Who wants to tear this trusty barrier down?
Well. I do. Because I want to love people well, and I can’t love others if I have huge walls built up. It’s scientifically impossible. And to live life to the fullest, I need those connections.
But all I can do right now is pray for those walls to come down. I have no other practical steps to take, and maybe I don’t need them. Maybe all I really need is the willingness to move forward.
Maybe that’s all we really ever need.
my next step
My plan for the next week is to pray for these walls to come down. That’s it. Well, that’s most of it.
I’m also reading The Lifegiving Home by Sally and Sarah Clarkson (affiliate link). What began as a search for practical information on how to create an atmosphere of love quickly became this confession. I can’t love if I can’t break down these walls. And I cannot break down these walls in my own strength. I need God to move in a big way.